If you’re someone who strives for excellence, much like myself (which is probably the case by your interest in reading this post), you establish your goals or purposes and work towards accomplishing them. But as you may know, the true challenge does not lie in setting these aspirations, but in actually training to achieve them.
A similar scenario unfolds when we attempt to alter our behavior or make adjustments to our current actions. We have an understanding of what needs to be changed, yet life happens and we get stuck, forget, and end up with no substantial progress or transformation.
A technique that I have discovered to enhance the practical aspect of behavior change and prioritize what truly matters to me is through the utilization of Daily Questions. Which I initially came across in the book The Earned Life by Marshall Goldsmith.
The Daily Questions aim to address the common issue many of us face: having good intentions for making changes but struggling with their execution. As the author says. “We are superior planners and inferior doers.”
However, what exactly are the Daily Questions? They consist of a set of inquiries that you ask yourself when you desire to make a change in your life, and you answer them on a daily basis. The crucial aspect is that when responding to these questions, you focus not on measuring the outcome, but on evaluating the effort you have invested in pursuing that change.
As the author says: “The key: Each question begins with “Did I do my best to ..” followed by a specific goal such as “Set clear goals?” and “Exercise?” and “Not waste energy on what you cannot change?””
The crucial aspect is to engage in this practice every single day, as it serves as a reminder of the things that hold greater significance to you. By doing so, you establish a short feedback loop and create a sense of personal accountability.
How do I do it?
I will provide the daily questions shortly, but for now, I’d like to share my personal approach as an idea for you. Keep in mind that it’s essential to discover the method that works best for you.
I personally use the notetaking app called Obsidian, as a Software Engineer, I like to play around markdown and also I like the way the app works. The Obsidian app has a Daily Note and you can create a template so every day it creates a copy of the template. So I put there the questions and every day I see them and reply from 1 to 10 what was my effort (Did I do my best?) for that specific question.
But you can use any notetaking app, or a spreadsheet if you wanna to compare your effort as you progress. For me I don’t make averages or check past results, It is more like a daily reminder of what is important for me and what I have to focus on.
What are my Daily Questions?
In the book The Earned Life Marshall shows some examples of questions. I started with some example questions but in these three months that I am doing this, I have changed the list to reflect my personal purposes.
While certain questions may prove beneficial to you, feel free to eliminate any that don’t resonate with you, and incorporate ones that hold personal significance. Customize the list according to your own needs and priorities.
- Did I do my best to be healthy?
- Did I do my best to be happy?
- Did I do my best to be fully engaged?
- Did I do my best to be a better husband?
- Did I do my best to build positive relationships?
- Did I do my best to have a good work/life balance?
- Did I do my best to simplify things?
Below is a short explanation of each question
Did I do my best to be healthy?
I prioritize healthspan over just lifespan. My goal is to not only live a long life but also maintain good health throughout. So, this serves as a daily reminder for me to be mindful of my dietary choices and engage in regular exercise.
Did I do my best to be happy?
I firmly believe that we must be intentional in pursuing the things we desire, and this includes happiness. Therefore, it is important for me to be reminded each day to cultivate gratitude, steer clear of anger, embrace tranquility, and prioritize happiness.
Did I do my best to be fully engaged?
Often, I’ve caught myself being mentally absent and distracted while in the presence of others. Sometimes having dinner with my wife I was distracted by Googling nonsense that could wait or when meeting with friends I was on social media instead of being with them. Or even in the meetings at work when I was doing something else instead of paying attention to the presenter.
So now I am deliberately trying to be present in the moment, with the people that I am with.
Did I do my best to be a better husband?
Marriage involves the commitment to share your entire life with another person. Recognizing that you contribute 50% to the equation, striving to become a better spouse not only enhances the marriage but also improves your overall quality of life.
I try to ask every day what I can do to be a better husband.
Did I do my best to build positive relationships?
Nurturing strong friendships necessitates intentional effort. It involves regularly checking in on friends, providing support, and dedicating quality time to be with them.
Did I do my best to have a good work/life balance?
I often find myself working more than necessary, especially when faced with problems to solve or challenges to overcome. So, I make a conscious effort to remind myself to limit work to designated hours and refrain from thinking about work-related issues outside of those hours.
Did I do my best to simplify things?
I believe in the principle of simplicity. There was a time when my portfolio consisted of around 90 different stocks. But why complicate things unnecessarily? Now, I have simplified it to just one index, and I feel much more at ease. Additionally, I have streamlined my financial obligations by setting up direct debit for all bills (excluding rent). This is an example of how I am actively simplifying my life.
Summary
Don’t be alarmed if this post turned out longer than expected. The key is to begin with just one or two questions and respond daily by assigning a rating from 1 to 10, indicating how well you did your best. Over time, you can gradually add more items or even remove ones that you feel no longer require a reminder. Flexibility and adaptability are essential in this process.
Life is a long game, but it is played day by day.
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash